Why Being Vulnerable/Authentic is Important
The key to attracting the right people is being authentic or being vulnerable—showing the world your imperfections, the things you think are unattractive or embarrassing. By being yourself, you filter out the wrong people who aren’t a good fit for you and attract the right people who appreciate you for who you truly are.
Sure, being vulnerable can be scary. It takes courage to show your true self. But once you do, you’ll realize how freeing and empowering it truly is. Also, being vulnerable doesn’t mean you should stop improving yourself. Personal growth helps you attract even more amazing people into your life.
If They Don't Like You, They're Not a Good Git for You
If someone dislikes you for being yourself, they’re obviously not a good fit for you anyway. Why would you want to spend time with someone who doesn’t accept you? And why fake yourself to be likable to them? Faking who you are not only wastes your time but also causes you to miss opportunities to connect with people who would value the real you.
Being confident in yourself attracts the right people. Trying to impress others by pretending to be someone you’re not, suppressing your true feelings, or hiding what you genuinely like will only turn people off.
Answer this question;
Would you rather be universally liked but never feel genuinely loved OR deeply loved by a few but disliked by most others?
If you choose the latter one, you should be authentic and vulnerable.
Be Genuine in Your Interactions
For example, if you like someone, you might feel tempted to say something just because you think they want to hear it. Or you might see someone attractive and wait for the “perfect” moment to start a conversation. If you’re doing this, you’re seeking their approval, which comes off as needy. Instead, say what feels right to you, in the moment that resonates with you. The people who need you shouldn’t mind your imperfections. They should like your imperfect date plan or boring sense of humor.
Before worrying about whether:
They like you,
You can impress them,
You can make them laugh, or
You can entertain them,
Instead, worry about:
If you like them,
If they can impress you,
If they can make you laugh, and
If they can entertain you.
I know this sounds selfish, but focusing on whether you like someone—rather than seeking their validation—shifts the power dynamic. Seeking validation is needy. Don’t be needy. Just be authentic.
Why Authenticity Matters
Trying to impress everyone is almost impossible. If you do this, you lose your authenticity.
For example, imagine you’re preparing to give a speech. You might feel pressured to pick a topic that you think will engage the audience, make them laugh, or impress them. But then you suddenly realize that the topic you’re considering doesn’t truly reflect who you are. Why try to impress everyone? There must be a topic that feels "really you."
It’s perfectly fine if only one person out of 100 in the audience is listening and enjoying your story. That one person could become your true audience or even a great friend. Also, there might be someone in the room who could give a better speech on the topic you’re faking. So why would you compete in the area you're not good at if there's an area you can perform better?
Vulnerability Comes From Unconditional Expression
If you think certain behaviors or actions make you vulnerable, it’s not true vulnerability. Vulnerability happens unconditionally—it’s about being real and genuine, without trying to manufacture or control how others perceive you. Becoming truly vulnerable takes time and practice.
Keep Improving
Vulnerability and authenticity don’t mean it’s okay to stop improving yourself. Personal growth is essential; it helps you attract even more amazing people into your life. By being your authentic, vulnerable self and striving for growth, you’ll create meaningful connections and surround yourself with the right people.
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